blogMy thoughts and projects come from seedlings that begin with conversations that I have with you.  Your words start to formulate in my mind and I hear what you say and I have to find a way to move you forward.  My brain just starts to fire up.  Today we start our next project and the main subject is you.

I want to talk about SELF WORTH.  Sure it’s for easy to say:  It starts from within.  Dig deep.  It has to come from you.  But what if you never had it?  What if you are the person who didn’t grow up with it?  What if your parents didn’t instill self worth in your being and then you went on to relationships that allowed you to stay beneath it all.  How are you supposed to dig deep to find what doesn’t exist?  You’re not good enough.  You’re not pretty enough and the world will eat you up and make you believe it’s your fault since you aren’t strong enough to fight back.  UGH, shame on them!  That’s abuse of the weak.  You cannot make a change because you have no clue where to start and when you leave the company of the positive you go right back to the blanket and sofa.  You are safer being lost.

Where do you start?  #projectprettyinsideandout.

Here’s what I will ask you to do.  First.  Sign a contract with yourself and date it.  Write it on a piece of paper or send a text to yourself, but you have to write it to get it out in to the universe.  Here is one that I had a friend write and we both signed it today:  I, ___________, will release X pounds by February 29th (my birthday), I am promising myself to attempt to like myself a little more each day.  While today I don’t feel worthy, I know I should for the sake of myself and my boys.  I am going to to commit to change.  I am going to release the fear of success and embrace the unknown by Memorial Day weekend, for real.  No more bullshit.  I own myself!  Dated and signed today!

Now we begin the journey to not digging deep from within, but doing the work required to build a body, mind and soul that you will actually like.  Then admire.  Then love.  It will be hard but you are worth the work.  Get out of bed.  Take care of your outside.  If your outside depressed like your inside that’s all anyone will see.  You don’t feel like getting dressed.  Do it anyway.  Dress as if you are already there.   Let’s trick yourself.   Let’s do this every day until you actually do feel as you look.  Sometimes we have to break open the mind to get the body to move, but other times we have to break open the body so the mind has something to believe in that’s possible.  It’s 2016.  Don’t you think it’s time?  I do.  Check out our Facebook page for steps in to a New You.

See you in great shape,

Kathi Sottosanti

Your Iron Beauty Coach




Walls (1)Does this sound familiar? “I am overweight. I don’t want to be but this is all I know. I have been overweight my whole adult life. I wish I wasn’t. I want to look like her but I never will. She has good genes. I’m not that lucky. I try to eat well. There was chicken in it. It’s impossible for me. It’s too hard. No one cares. Who cares? I don’t care. Forget it. I’m just going to eat and feel like crap because I’m not worth it.”
Or worse. You try. You lose a few pounds and the unimaginable happens. People notice! One of two things will happen now. One person will get pumped to continue because they finally have hope. The other will immediately sabotage themselves because, well, they’re going to fail anyway and now they’re up shit’s creek because people are noticing and they certainly cannot keep this success up because failure is all they know, so FEED ME FAST happens. Phew, weight is back on and you are back in the safe zone that is all you know and positive feedback goes away. You are no longer in the uncomfortable spotlight, you are safely in the dark. How does it really feel? I’ll tell you. Not good, but staying in the place of failure and discomfort, with pains in joints and no energy, actually feels better and safer than going to the unknown place of health. That is just way too scary.

Listen up. This is VERY common. You are NOT alone. Did you think you were alone? Quietly in your place of discomfort? That it sounds crazy. How can success and recognition lead to failure and sabotage? You can’t tell anyone because they’ll think you’re nuts, no one will get it. Well, I totally get it.  I actually think it makes really good sense. What if you realize that the worst case scenario is that someone might pay you a complement? I’m being very serious. What if that spotlight, albeit scary, is the worst thing that happens as you find health? Please think about that. Would you be willing to take my hand and try? One little day at a time, make a change that moves you forward. What if I told you that you are TOTALLY worth the effort?  Would that help you take one step forward? I know someone will 100% make a change because of this. Will it be you?

If this resonates with you or someone you know please share it. Let’s continue to create a wave of help for those who think they can’t. I have watched many of you experien©ce success during through the busy holidays. Everything is possible.  Release the fear and have faith that you can do it and it will feel amazing and you will not go backwards because you are in a supportive environment with people who want it for you even more than you do!  Repeat after me: I am worth it!  That person will be me!

In good health,

Kathi S.

Iron Beauty Coach




blogDoes the fact that you work out bug people? First and foremost, agreement number 2 (The Four Agreements by Miguel Ruiz), don’t take it personally.  That’s on them.  But that’s not why I’m writing.  There are so many levels of “why” people work out.  Some for social.  Some to say they did it.  Some because they want to fit in.  Some because they want to fit in to clothes.  Some for looks.  Some for health and some because it’s in their blood and they know no other way.

I used to hate it when I would hear things about celebrities or fitness models like, “She/he can look like that because she has a trainer”.  “She/he can because she has money.”  It doesn’t cost a dime to do a push up.  If a person wants to judge others and make excuses as to why they may look a certain way it’s only a reflection of either what they haven’t been able to accomplish, or simply that they don’t want to.  Which is totally fine.  But having a trainer does not equal looking a certain way unless you really take advantage of the guidance, train hard, train enough and eat to accommodate your goals.  Simply showing up to move does not equal results, so when a celebrity looks a certain way, it’s because they earned it!

What if I told you that I have been working out my whole adult life? That after having five babies (all C-sections), I would take the time to recover, be delirious and then figure out how to get back in to my clothes?  They were my clothes.  It was my closet.  So on to the treadmill I went, baby in bouncy seat and pacifier in mouth. I would start with a post pregnancy size 14, then go to 12, then 10 and eventually end up back in a 4 or a 2.   What if I told you that it saves me?  That I don’t know what I would do without it?   That it is how I keep myself sane in an insanely busy, crazy world?  That I manage 7 lives, including my own, and I need the energy to stay on top of it all.  What if I am not just “that girl that lives in the gym (which I’m not, I am made up of way more than that!)”, but that I work out because it’s my drug.  I race through the house for 3 hours in the early morning to get everyone up, make the lunches and make sure that everyone has a good breakfast to get their brain going.  Clean up what looks like a fraternity party, after the monster mess of last night’s dinner, only to go upstairs and find every light on and the same one sock in the hallway for a week even though I said, “Pick it up Matt” about 50 times.  Then pack my foods for the day, return inboxes, texts and emails to so many who wrote overnight, make sure I know what my tracks are for the day, post on social media because it’s my job, make sure all my devices are charged and ready, get my 4 heavy bags and head off to work.  But wait the phone rings, and someone forgot a book or a lunch, a football bag and now I have to squeeze in a trip to the school that is totally throwing me off because I am out of time?!!!  You know the feeling?  The one that builds inside and it’s not even 9 am yet and you’ve already worked yourself to death, but have a WHOLE day and night ahead of you with way more to accomplish, games to watch, dishes to do, meals to make and more.

Perhaps these are the exact same reasons that someone is overweight.  It’s just that their drug is food.  They eat to soothe, I work out.  They choose not to plan their meals, I choose to plan them. I do not rely on hot dogs at the snack bar but another mom does.   What if our days and nights are similar in the fact that we all have stress and issues, but that we will each respond differently to such stress.  One will eat while one will run.   I may choose chicken and broccoli while someone else chooses nachos and beer.  I may choose wine while someone else chooses sleep. Choice.  We all have the same right to make choices so own your choices without comparing or judging.

Luckily, I get to take my passion and use it to motivate others, who need it and want it, but may not have it in them like I do.  When I’m done moving I feel so much better than I did before I started.  The feel good hormones kick in, I take a deep breath and I carry on with my day.  And that is why I push you, I want you to feel the same.  Thank you for letting me in to your world, for letting Iron Beauty coach you, help you and motivate you!

See you in great shape,
Kathi S.