“YOUR LANGUAGE IS ATROCIOUS YOUNG LADY/MAN!” Do I sound like your mother? Well I’m talking to YOU!

self-talkWatch what you say PLEASE!  We need to talk about your language.  You need to clean it up.  You’re just mean.  I don’t like hearing how you speak, it’s downright negative.  Your language is ATROCIOUS!  Really.  You should be GROUNDED for that mouth of yours!

You’re not talking to your kids.  You’re not talking to your spouse, or a friend.  Who are you talking to?  YOUR SELF!

Why do you talk to yourself that way?  Why do we talk to ourselves that way?  Man, are we tough on ourselves or what!  ” OMG, I look HORRIBLE.”  “I am so gross.”  “I cannot look in the mirror. ” AT WHAT?  Your body?  I do get it.  I do the same thing.  Do you know that I cannot look in the mirror without then looking sideways to see what I look like.  All day, every time I go to the bathroom.  Like every day is different!   Our language is so mean.  We are not just bodies, we are souls.  We have feelings.  We have a heart.  So imagine how your friend would feel if you spoke to him or her the way you would speak to yourself.  They would be CRUSHED.  Now I want you to think outside the box here for a minute and get a little deep with me.  Do you think it’s possible that YOU are being beaten down and offended on some level by your own SELF?  I mean think about it, really.  You would feel so bad if someone shared negative thoughts about you to you.  You would totally take it personally.  So why then, wouldn’t your subconscious take it personally when you speak that way to you?  It hears everything you say, we’ve talked about this in another blog.  Your body is more than moving parts, even though that is enough to be grateful for!  Your body is life. Your body is love.  You were created a perfect you.  We mess up,  go off path and change our bodies, and yes we can be upset by it and want more for ourselves.  All true.  Life is so so so busy that we lose ourselves to time.  Sometimes the only check in we have is that two second look in the mirror when we pee! And in that two second look in the mirror we make conclusions about our LOOKS. MY bang, my hair, my bags under my eyes, my skin . . . You only have two seconds to look in the mirror because you are BUSY.  You have KIDS.  You care for EVERYONE else.   If two seconds is all you have to connect you to yourself while you wash your hands after you pee, then I beg you  .  . .

CHANGE YOUR LANGUAGE!!!!!!  Take two seconds to look in the mirror and say, “THANK YOU”.  To yourself.  You are taking care of everyone.  Thank yourself.  You are trying your best. Thank yourself.  You are working like crazy.  Thank yourself.   Look at yourself with gratitude in that two seconds.   You are so busy you deserve to COMPLAIN, you do.  But at least thank yourself for doing it all.  Your language deserves to not judge you but to thank you because you are freaking amazing damnit!    Give yourself a monster break.  Give yourself a monster boost.  You pay everyone for everything so PAY YOURSELF A COMPLEMENT.  And most importantly, every time you look in the mirror, just say thank you.  It will be a thank you to your body and a thank you to your soul.   Just changing your language from UGH to thank you, will change your actions.  Do you think we can try this exercise for one week?  Who is with me?  I’m starting tomorrow.

Washing hands.  Looking in the mirror.  Fighting the negative.  THANK YOU KATHI!

See you in great shape,
Your Iron Beauty Coach

Kathi Sottosnati



Your weight loss has been sort of a roller coaster.  You work hard to lose your weight and then something happens, a life event, stress, lack of motivation, something kicks in to change your path and your weight starts to climb back up.   When this happened to a friend of mine, I asked her, “Did you notice at 10 pounds?”  No.  “Did you notice at 15?”  No.  “Did you notice at 20?”  Really?  Then she thought about it and said, yes my clothes were tight at 10.  That’s what I thought.   You know it, but you go in to the lost place, you’re not on a program, no one is watching but you (and me) and there it goes up, up and up.

You stop stepping on the scale, so you can be less likely to admit it.  We subconsciously know what we are doing so we avoid knowing the number.  We weigh ourselves on a weight loss program, but not on a weight gain path or we would be less likely to let it get out of control.

Many of you are having great success in our Iron Beauty world losing weight, and here is what I ask of you.  PUT A CAP ON IT!

    • Have an idea of the goal you are looking to reach. If you are weight training, and you should be, the goal weight may be a little higher than you thought but you will most likely look smaller and tighter.
    • Make a pact for LIFE with someone close to you.  Continue to be accountable to yourself and that person.  Don’t go more then two weeks without weighing yourself.  If you are the kind of person that tends to go up and down then you have to check yourself!
    • Make the cap.  Three pounds, could be anything and gone in a day.   Four  pounds, I’d start to wonder.  Five and you put the brakes on if you are woman.  Take ownership and work it back down.  For a bigger man, you could add a few more to that but not more then 10 pounds and check it in.
    • Call the friend when you hit the cap, you have to let your accountability partner know.  Time to confess and say it out loud.  Do not go past the cap!
    • Get to work and clean it up.

If you do, you will catch yourself before you go back on to the roller coaster.  It takes work to lose weight, it’s not easy and when you hit maintenance it’s can also be work, but that’s life.  You want to be healthy you have to keep it in check.  One bagel, becomes pasta, becomes, ice cream, becomes who cares!  No more.  THE CAP IS ON!

Let us know about your journey.  Are you where you want to be, on your way down, on your way up for health (which will be some of you and your cap will be not to lose too much).  Keep it even and your body will thank you keeping the peace.


We are here to help!


See you in great shape,

Your Iron Beauty Coach
Kathi Sottosanti©



The “S” WORD. SABOTAGE! Why we do it and how to change it!

The process of losing weight, or changing our bodies, takes time and isn’t always easy.  The process of changing our minds can be even harder!  It is completely normal to hit a plateau.  Every “body” is completely different.  There is no one size fits all.  Are your hormones balanced?  Do you have a healthy gut?  How much lean muscle do you have?  Is your thyroid in check? Do you get enough sleep?  How high is your stress level? These are just some of the factors that should be taken into consideration when struggling with weight loss.

The one aspect that we don’t often talk about or address is how you treat yourself?  This is a big piece of the pie (I don’t mean that literally) that most don’t think about.  How do you speak to yourself about your progress?  Do you get mad at yourself?  What do you tell yourself as you fall asleep? Do you even know to talk to yourself?  What do you tell yourself upon waking?   That conversation can really have an effect on your results.  Our thoughts become our actions.  When you are falling asleep at night, or as you wake in the morning, is when your conscious mind and subconscious mind cross over, and you have an incredible opportunity to mold your day and your life.  Your subconscious is your silent boss and pretty much runs your life.  You should have tremendous respect for your boss! You breathe, your heart beats, you turn left when you know how to get somewhere, you don’t even have to make the plan, your body just knows what to do and legs start to turn, the torso turns your body just moves!  Fascinating. Thanks Boss.

Now imagine the power that you have to change your world as you teach your subconscious about you.  You have a choice.  You can thank yourself at night for trying or you can tell yourself how much you suck.  Either way your subconscious will believe you.  Choice.  You hate your legs.  I learned a long time ago in the book, The Power of the Subconscious Mind, by Joe Murphy, that your subconscious cannot take a joke.  As you fall asleep thinking, “I was so bad today”, your brain hears how bad you were and believes what it hears.  Your words start to shape your spiral down, when they can lead you to a better place.  A happier conscious state that takes better actions.  This is not easy, I know, but it is something you can practice becoming very aware of in life.  When we don’t and we continually live in frustration, and get mad at ourselves, then SABOTAGE kicks in.   The “S” word. You have lost patience.  It’s not working on your time.  The answer: Fk it.  I am going to cheat and eat.  Why not, it’s not working anyway.  Then the cheat, becomes a whole day, then a week.  As you fall off path feeling sorry for yourself, you drown in crappy food only to realize that you feel even worse.  Now you are going in the other direction.  WEIGHT GAIN.  After all that work, not only are you gaining weight, the bad food doesn’t even feel good.  You are better off on the plateau, feeling good with the right food, continuing to make baby steps and small changes,  versus the idea of sabotaging your progress by eating away at your frustrations.  Couple that with negative self- talk, and you’re really going to feel down.

Would you punish your child if they were working really hard and trying their absolute best in school, struggling, but working, and you knew it and they came home with a C+?  NO, at least I hope not. That would be so discouraging to that child.  Give yourself the same encouragement.  YOU ARE TRYING YOUR BEST!

Honor your body with good food and don’t give up.  It is a long process for some.  Punishing, sabotaging your progress with junk, because you are frustrated will make you feel like garbage.  Hold on to where you are and make small tweaks.  Sometimes small tweaks will do the trick over time.  Just keep going.  A “treat” meal once is week is great.  Tell the body you are not in starvation mode and will be better able to release weight.   That’s very different and has nothing to do with sabotaging.

BE NICE to yourself.  Stop treating yourself differently than others that you love.  You need your love too.  As you fall asleep tell your subconscious what you want from life.  Do this as a real exercise.  Your subconscious cannot take a joke, it’s very literal so whatever you tell it, it will believe and that is how you will start to live.  As you wake, do the same, but make it for that day.  Today, I will be patient with myself.  I will relax in to my food.  I will honor my body.  I will not hate the legs that carry me from one place to another.  The arms that hold my hands that allow me to hug.  Practice.  Then make it a habit to thank yourself for the day’s efforts as you fall asleep.  You have the POWER to shape your mind, to change your thoughts, your future and your whole outlook on life.  Start this immediately.

Good effort today Kathi.  You worked hard, and gave it your best. Tomorrow you will accomplish so much of what you want to do.  Goodnight.  zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

See you in great shape,
Your Iron Beauty Coach

Kathi Sottosanti