I can’t go to the gym (party, wedding, etc). I’ve gained weight and don’t want anyone to see me!

I think I am going to have to change the name of this blog from Locker Room Chatter, to Behind Closed Doors!  Because so much goes on there.  You might be reading this and thinking, I can’t believe she’s talking about me.  I’m actually talking about a number of YOU, as I hear this so often, and that’s why I write.

  1. To dispel the myths and just get it on the table.
  2. To get you going again.
  3. Because it’s not one person who feels this way, it’s so many!

Once again, you are not alone. The other day I saw a friend on the Stairmaster.  My thoughts:  I’m so excited to see her beautiful face, it’s been a while.  Her thoughts:  Ugh, I can’t believe she spotted me, I am trying to hide!  Everyone in here is looking at me because I have fallen off, gained weight and I am trying to get in and out without anyone seeing.  WHAT?  I am so glad you’re here!

The next day I see another friend on the bike.  My thoughts:  I have to go tell her I can’t wait to go to her party.  Her thoughts:  Oh no,  I have been eating cookies and cookies and put it all back on as she backed her body away in guilt.  By nature I bring it out of people even when I’m not trying.  I am a confessional.  But NOT a judge.  Just a safe place to say it.

The next woman walks in and down the hall half looking at me, shoulders rounded, body crouched as if to hide.  Ok, life got in the way, or the holidays, or we just plain fell off and ate until we mentally woke up in a different body. We are not in college and this is not the walk of shame (who said that, I know nothing about the walk of shame . . . 😉  )

Worse are the ones who I don’t see at all because they have THIS going on in their head and feel like they can’t even walk through the door!  It’s your perception vs reality.  Reality is you have put on weight. Ok.  There it is. That’s why there are people like me, who also are not perfect, but strong in their conviction to push you and motivate you and tell you that you have to start somewhere.  If someone judges you, shame on them.  Watch out for KarmaKat (that may be my next nickname after Kitty) I haven’t put a pair of jeans on since I grew out of mine.  Nope.  I have been wanting and needing to shop for a new pair since I gained 8 or so pounds in 2016.  Yes, a lot of it was muscle, but not all, and regardless, my pants don’t fit.  So I have been styling myself in a different way in order to work what I got . . . and it’s called LYCRA!

Here is my message to you if you have gained weight, and are afraid of walking through the door of life.  The thoughts in your head are way heavier then the weight you have put on.   The perception in your head is that feeling of shame being reflected outward.  But how will you get started if that feeling blocks you from what is good for you? What you actually need is stress reduction, health, friends, balance and “you deserve it time”.  Not a good time right now because of major life issues?  Ok.  You will get through one thing at a time and then make your plan.  When you are ready, we are ready.  In the meantime, keep following us, hang in there and do what you can.  Start small.  Take walks.  Stretch.  Pack snacks to stay on path!  Or simply read health articles that will get you mentally engaged.  I do this when driving on long trips to keep my mind in the game.
You walk through the door and tell me this got you there and I will go jean shopping.  Deal?
We’re all in it together.  And when one of us falls, another one LIFTS us up!  Iron Beauty is not one or two people but a posse of like minded people who truly care about others and having their back.  We are shifting the current from a world of judgement and tearing down, to building up having each other’s back and that my friend, is why you are here!

Share, comment or write me if you have a question at kathi@myironbeauty.com.

 

With Strong Love,
Your coach and friendly stalker
Kathi Sottosanti
Iron Beauty
myironbeauty.com


Compassion Please. Everyone! Has something going on.

Seriously.  The world is a judgmental place for sure.  I try my absolute best not to judge.  I mean that.  I actually try to live my life without judging others.  Yet, I am judged over and over.  I have heard all too much how I am judged, but when you are in the public eye all the time you are bound to have people talk about you.  It is what it is.  The Four Agreements, which I highly recommend to EVERYONE, tells you not to take it personally.  Easier said than done,  but a definite work in progress. And be impeccable with your word.  Think about that.  Be impeccable with your word means really caring about what comes out of your mouth especially when it comes to talking about others!

I hate the word hate.  When my kids were little they were not allowed to use the word hate.  It was a curse word to me.  I hate this, I hate that, and I would say you are too young to hate anything, hate is a bad word and how can you possibly know anyway, you are too young to have that negativity in you!

So let’s think about this.  Let’s look at the world, even if for one day, as if everyone you meet has a real life issue that they are dealing with, because that is actually real.  Life on earth is life on earth.  We are human and have to experience so many things.  Yet we look at each other as if they have it going on because . . . they can do that because. . . they have it easy because. . .  They are just dealing with it differently.  Everyone has something.  Most people won’t share their something because they don’t want people to know their life isn’t perfect or it’s too hard or it’s just too personal.  All valid.  I just think we would look at the world differently if we actually acknowledged that everyone we encounter has something going on, because they do.  We have aging parents, parents who are gone too early, kids  we are trying to raise, finances on the brink, relationship struggles, illness, the list is huge. And the doors to their home are closed and you do not know what is going on behind those doors. Most are just too scared to share because they feel alone, they fear they will be judged or that there problem is unique.  Nothing is unique.  We are never alone.  You are not the first one to have this experience.  You have so many like you.  Compassion goes a long way.  Imagine if we replaced judgement with compassion.  Wow, now that’s a world for me!

Exercise:  Tomorrow.  Let’s assume every single solitary person you encounter has a major life issue.  And that their issues are worse than yours.  What will you do when they yell at you?  Bite your head off or call you a name?  Take a deep breath and think, they are actually a beautiful person.  They are not their actions, but  a result of their pain.  What would a painless life look like? Just like we don’t know what superheros would be like, because they are not real, neither is a pain free life. We can all get better at embracing more people  because it is often just a cover up for so much going on.  We must have compassion.  We can turn it around!   As a coach,  I know what’s real.  Behind closed doors.  That’s what’s real.  xoxoxoxo Sending hugs.

NO JUDGEMENT HERE.  If you have an issue you would like to discuss please write me at Kathi@myironbeauty.com.  I am a vault.

See you in great shape,
Your loving stalker and coach
Kathi Sottosanti
©


Happy New Year! TITM time for Cheryl Baldwin! Read on to find out more

What is a TITM?  A Transformation In The Making.  And yes, I have been coaching people to the other side of happy since my early 20’s, but this one we are doing differently. We are going public with it while it happens, instead of waiting for success and numbers. Two reasons.  One, maybe some of you will relate to the journey and benefit from watching and because I need your help.  I believe that your support will help push Cheryl to a place she has never to before and because it’s being done in front of you she will have a harder time backing out!

I met Cheryl and her partner Terry just over 4 years ago.  Man was she shy.  Her eyes would look at me like a scared little kid.  She sat all the way in the back of my yoga-like class in the dark and I still hooked on to her!  We bonded.  I wanted to help her.  Cheryl has been struggling with her weight her whole life. She was terribly afraid of success and making changes.  It was a tough one for me to figure out, although I fully understand why people fear success, there was something else to it.  Afraid to work for fear of changing, getting healthier and feeling better?  Then one day, while talking we discovered the why.  At 10 years old, Cheryl was fully developed.  Having an 11 year old, I know how innocent that age still is, or can be.  She had a body and that body was getting looks that a 10 year old brain could not comprehend.  She just knew it didn’t feel good.  So the weight started climbing up.  She was safer in an an overweight body because then her boobs and curves would not stand out.  It took 33 years to crack that code!  Now at 46, Cheryl has to make changes for her health.  She has diabetes, that is weight related.  She has excuses.  We got those out of the way.  She is sedentary.  That’s got to change.  In fact, she hates exercise right now.  Sweet.  Even better, she’s been eating like crap. This is going to be fun!  Having said all that, I believe this time she really is ready.  That means going to a place she’s never gone to before.  She has been on and off for a long time and is ready to be on with no off.  This is for both of them because Terry needs it too.  It will require shopping, prepping and being accountable week after week. With a BMI of 49 at 222.3 pounds, she has NO CHOICE.
Week 1:
Weight:  222.3
Height: 5’3″
BMI: 49%

Cheryl, you can do this!  I have faith in you and Iron Beauty and the people who will be following you!  Cheers to good health in 2016! Check out the Iron Beauty FB Page for pics that will be posted right after this goes up, and follow the weekly progress for success in 2017! All good things.

Love,
Your Stalker
Kathi Sottosanti

 


TODAY I HEARD THE MUSIC. TODAY I FELT THE SUN. TODAY I SAW THE SQUIRRELS.

Ever feel like you have to escape? Life is a lot. We are on overdrive and so incredibly plugged in. It’s a disease that needs a name. It’s like watching a sci-fi movie as I walked through the city today. Imagine hearing 100 phone conversations in quick blurbs while you’re not speaking. Just observing. It’s so easy to go on overload. Everyone is talking. Is anyone paying attention?

Our kids are so plugged in they’re not living in reality they’re living in phonality. It’s so sad. It’s a life based around who’s calling, who’s face-timing, who’s snap-chatting, who’s texting. Did you know there was something called Phantom Texting? A problem facing the under 20 crowd where they think they hear their phone go off. JEEZZZZZZZ. Let me ask you this. Do you look at your phone because you are looking to see what’s up from 2 minutes ago? YES YOU DO. It’s a disease. An addiction. Who’s writing us? What’s new? We eat dinner and have a conversation, yet we cannot wait to get to our phones. So once dinner is kind of officially over we grab our devices and it’s good bye. Why? Because we put our friends on temporary hold only to have dinner with our family. We actually can’t wait to get back to them but we do the obligatory dinner time. That’s so fucked up. We took a temporary break from our real world to plug into our FAMILY TIME! WOW! What the hell is happening to us? We get jittery because the dinner conversation is going on a little too long and we have to RESPOND. To whom? Who is more important than our children and yes I am guilty!

Today I had had enough. I unplugged. I got on a train and went to the city where no one knows my name. I was mindful. It was so interesting. I walked a ton. I sat in parks. I listened to music that was so beautiful. I watched as a couple dance at 4:30 in broad daylight in a park and thought how cool is that?! I watched a squirrel eat out of a woman’s hand like it was a house pet. I had no WIFI. I did my best to disconnect and read, with the exception of checking in on my kids after school. I felt the sun on my face as I sat on the park bench. I felt the presence of the stranger that asked to sit with me. I connected with no one and everyone. They were a part of my peace in a weird sort of way. How can we break this horrible disease of human disconnectedness? The stacking game is great, friends over phones, young people stacking their phones on the table so they can have real time with each other. BRAVO. We need to start seeing each other. Paying attention to each other. The phone gives us so much love that it makes it easy to not love what is right in front of you. That is bullshit. Can we turn it around? We’re doomed in my opinion if we don’t. Pay attention or pay your phone bill. You tell me what’s more important.

Love always,
Your Iron Beauty Coach
Kathi Sottosanti


DROP YOUR ANCHOR AND WATCH YOUR BODY CHANGE!

Do you have a anchor on your ship? You eat well BUT. You have an anchor. That anchor can sink your ship. Coke at 140 calories is an anchor. 25 cans will buy you a pound. Let’s take pumpkin donuts, totally an anchor.  At 360 calories and 10 grams of saturated fat that will hold you back for sure.  One does not even fill you up. Empty calories.  I may know someone having an average of 6 a week. 2,160 extra calories a week that will not do one thing for your body except add almost 3/4 of a pound of weight to your frame.  A week.  UNLESS you are a serious body builder or powerlifter, and need X amount of carbs that are sometimes hard to get, so you throw in fast acting carbs immediately after training ie donuts which some guys do, to get it back into your muscles quickly, then it’s a big, fat NO.
It’s her culture to eat dessert. I respect that. So how about a square of dark chocolate with a hot cup of tea. Afraid you might eat the bar? Leave it at work under the care of a co-worker and bring a square home at night for an after dinner treat.  This at least is a healthy fat at 70% or higher.
We try so hard, but the truth is that many of us have an anchor.  Can you give up your anchor for 21 days?  It takes 21 days to change a habit.  That’s my plan with my girl to give up pumpkin donuts for 21 days because the goal is real.  It’s also SO important to GET TO KNOW your anchors.  When I spoke to the Google God and it responded with the nutrition info in all of two seconds, it was very surprising to my friend.  She was guessing it was a couple hundred calories. It is actually easier to give up that “thing” when you know that it costs you a QUARTER of your calories for the day but gives you NOTHING in return!  Imagine eating a 1/4 of your calories for a ZERO body benefit.  Yet for 400 calories, you could have 4 oz of chicken, a half a cup of rice and a cup of broccoli and get way more protein, carbs, nutrients and more in your body would be able to either build or protect your lean muscle and feel good when you were done.  What’s the donut doing?  Nothing, that’s why it’s shaped in a ZERO!  Drop your anchor off your ship and watch your body change!  Unlike the ship that would stay in place with an anchor, your ship will actually move when the anchor is GONE.  Remember new goals.  Holidays.  Strong and Sexy.
As always, see you in great shape!
Your Iron Beauty Coach and Loving Stalker,
Kathi Sottosanti
©

FEAR STUCKS!  NO THAT’S NOT A TYPO. GETTING UNSTUCK.

 

Let’s get down and dirty with FEAR.  Like take the gloves off and fight fear.  Fear is a bully.  Fear makes you STUCK.  STUCK in life.  STUCK in workouts.  STUCK in progress.  STUCK in moving forward to what could be an amazing path ahead. FEAR JUST STUCKS!  Fear is so real, yet so not real.  We live with fear because we create it in our minds to block us from life therefore giving it life.  In fact, don’t feel bad, it’s not even you, just a version of you we call the ego.  The ego in each of us wants to win so we have to fight with our good souls to get it the hell out.  We are the sole creators of our fear yet our souls need love.   When we experience fear we cannot experience love, as per my friend, (in my mind and in my future) Gabrielle Bernstein, and her book May Cause Miracles, a 40+ day practice to alleviate fear and see amazing things happen in life (miracles).  Gabby says, where there is fear, love cannot exist.  And she’s not talking about romantic love, but life love.  As a coach, the number one thing I tackle with people is fear.  As a human being, the number one thing I tackle for myself is fear.  Fear has held me back in numerous situations and I am now really working to recognize fear when it peeks it’s head in to my life.  I can now look back at scenarios and see where I remained stuck for too long and should have moved forward.  I will never forget the words of my sister Eileen when we were young adults.  She had been out with a guy a couple of times and it didn’t work out.  They ended it and she said the very next morning, without hesitation or fear, “I can’t wait to see who I meet next!”  It really blew me away because anyone else would be feeling sorry, she looked at life with adventure eyes and saw opportunity.  I admired that and have used that example to help many others (thanks sista).

I talked about this in one of my recent blogs, how during my last training phase before my competition, I would look ahead at workouts in fear wondering how I would pull them off, thinking how on earth . . . 285, 295 pounds . . . fear cannot exist in workouts.  Period.  I learned from that and made a shift.  Now I look at a 10 X 10 with decent weight and say, shit, ok, the only way to finish is to begin.  Just move.  Fear STUCKS.

FEAR holds us back from being our best selves.  Fear lies.  It tells us we’re not worthy.  Fear tells us we will die if we try.  NO WE WON’T.  Fear tells us it’s too hard.  Fear tells us that we can’t be free from an unhealthy relationship because we can’t make it on our own.  Fear tells us that we can’t lift or we’ll get hurt.  Fear tells us not to go out of our comfort zone because something will go wrong.  Fear tells us not to meet someone new for FEAR of rejection, not being good enough.  FK THAT FEAR we are already perfect, because we are a creation of God you’re just trying to brainwash us in to believing otherwise!

These things cannot hurt you.  We fail at something.  Great!  That means you are moving forward.  Failure IS THE WAY TO SUCCESS.   Failure is GOOD, it’s a lesson.  So GET OUT THERE AND KICK FEAR’S ASSSSSSSSSS.  Believe that you are worthy of trying.  We all are.  Worthy.  What you fear you have created and so you have the ability to CHANGE IT.   Create something amazing in your mind.  We know our thoughts become our actions.  When you lay your head down on the pillow, create an amazing picture.  Practice this before bed.  Create your tomorrow in your mind.  Not what you think will be reality, but what you really, truly want.  Take fear out of the picture and visualize life as if anything is possible.  I know this is hard because life is real.  I totally get it and you’re tired and don’t believe but do it anyway. Create the vision that you CAN and you will be 1,000 times more likely to get what you desire versus fearing you can’t.  Whether it’s fitness, a job, a relationship, trying something out of your comfort zone, or just heavy real life.  Fight it with feelings of ABILITY.  Feel able.  You are able. You are capable.  You can do this.  Fear is real  because we make it real, but we can fight it and we can win when we make it not real and we don’t give it power.  Amazingly you may not even know it was an something real that held you back, just that you were held back.  See it now as a separate version of yourself, your ego self and fight to release it. Here’s your new mantra:
Sayonara STUCKA!

Tell me what else you want to hear.

See you in great shape, inside and out,
Your Iron Beauty Coach,
Kathi Sottosanti
©


HOW SELF LOVE CAN HELP YOU HEAL.  READY TO START BEING YOUR MOST AMAZING SELF?

This is a subject I am really exploring as I think it is an enormously untapped idea.  Growing up as I did, I would attach the idea of self-love to being egotistical or narcissistic and therefore, could not go there.  I have love for all others and strongly believe in people and can see innately how I can move them forward.  I see the beauty in them that they cannot.  I never thought to look at myself that way.  That’s being a narcissist.  But it’s NOT.  They are not the same thing.  It is crucial to our health that we like ourselves.  It is crucial to our health that we love ourselves.  With that love we can accept who we are and know that we are right and not rely on others for acceptance.   We go through life seeking the approval of others.  When does that start? We are born perfect creatures.  Our mothers and fathers think we are the most beautiful baby on the planet.  If you are a parent you know what I mean.  You went to the nursery for the first time, saw your baby in the window with all the other babies and thought, “Wow, I feel bad for everyone else because we clearly have the cutest baby here!”   Come on, who’s guilty? EVERYONE! Lol.

Then we grow.  And grow.  We get acne.  Our nose grows faster than our face.  Our bodies develop too fast, or not nearly fast enough (me, still waiting for boobs, I’ve got time).  Our voice changes.  We struggle to fit in.  We are judged by appearance and are accepted or shunned.  We are the popular kid who everyone wants to sit with or the one in the corner of the lunch room.  We flip through magazines and see airbrushed supermodels in bikinis on beaches and compare ourselves to what isn’t even real. (Stick with the real mags that teach us). We’re not good enough because we’re not perfect.  What the fuck is perfect? (sorry fudge doesn’t work as well!)  I remember hearing a stat that 1% of the population were supermodels. And I’m happy for them, as my friend Allison would say, but there are 7.4 BILLION people on this planet and I’d say that there are way more Super ROLE Models than super models!  The diversity amongst us is amazing.  Take a walk in public and see how different we all look.  Are we wrong?  Hell no.  We get lost in thinking we should look a certain way and when we don’t it can be frustrating and lead to bad habits to sabotage and add to our disappointment.  That’s not loving.  Love is kind.  Love takes care of.

Think about someone you really love from the bottom of your heart.  Think about the moment your parents laid their eyes on you for the first time, or the moment you laid eyes on your own child.  You, they, saw beauty and felt a powerful love.  Do you love yourself like that?  If you haven’t thought about it, you need to practice.  You can write your own day every day.  This life is not a biography but an autobiography and you are the author.  Take a moment in the morning and set up your day.  Look in the mirror and say out loud, “GOOD MORNING LOVE!”  If you are too shy or uncomfortable, wait till no one is looking, in the privacy of your bedroom, put your hands in the air like you want to say “YES!” “I am going to make today a great day because I deserve it.”   Practice.  Practice. Practice.  Some of you won’t believe that you deserve it, but you do.  You need to practice harder than the next person.  This is not a subject that we learn about in school or that enough people talk about.  So when you find it in the universe and realize you are lacking, you have the gift of opportunity to learn how to do it.  Loving yourself as a beginner is awkward and hard.  But it’s not an option if you want to be happy!  If we practice this maybe we will start to treat ourselves like the uniquely special person that we are.  If we love ourselves enough we can learn to take better care of ourselves.  If you believe you are worthy your choices will be smarter.  Take the steps.  If you have a negative thought, fight it with a positive thought immediately.  Fight your mind to change your thoughts.  Tell yourself something positive as soon as your eyes open in the morning because that is when your sub conscious is paying the most attention, as we sleep and as we wake.  Wake up to mantra “I completely and totally accept myself”.   This is a first in a series.  I have some pretty deep thoughts that I think can help some of you.

Action step:  Smile before you enter a building so everyone who lays eyes on you sees it as part of you not a reaction to . . . Watch how you change the world.

See you in great shape,
Mentally and physically!
Your Iron Beauty Coach

Kathi Sottosanti

©


THE HEAVIEST WEIGHT WAS MY BRAIN. DON’T MAKE THAT MISTAKE! HERE’S HOW I’M CHANGING THAT NOW!

self-talkI am changing my whole outlook on my future workouts, I went about it all wrong!  As many of you know I recently competed in a WNPF competition.  I have been training on/off in powerlifting for a couple of years now and made a decision in November to compete in 2016 at 52.  By on/off I mean that I go through phases to give the joints and muscles a break. I do in-season 12 weeks prior to the meet, then pre or post season to give the joints a break, work on my weak points and build through hypertrophy (more sets, more reps).  My one rep max for a deadlift was 285 up to that point, but in the mock meet I did back in January, I only got a very ugly 275.

I spent January to March in pre-season training, and in March my coach and I started the 12 week in-season training program.  This was a linear program, meaning every workout, of which there were four a week, was a new PR.  In every workout I was doing something I had not done before, in order to train for a 300 pound deadlifting goal.  Sometimes I would look two weeks ahead to see what I had in store.  I looked at every future workout with fear and a heavy mind wondering if I would be able to do it.  Therein lies my critical mistake.  My coach Barry Bostick trusted my ability, or he wouldn’t have given me the plan, I however, did not.  How am I lifting 270 for 3 if all I got was an ugly 275 once?  My mindset was a block ALMOST the whole time.  I spent 11 weeks NOT believing in myself, yet I completed every workout almost successfully.  Maybe I missed a couple here and there, for example, 275 for 3 and I got two for the first two sets then 3 for the second 2 and made it.  Essentially, I allowed my mind to control my body, but you know what?  My body won every time!  Take that brain!

There I was in week 11 looking at a 295 deadlift for 4 sets of singles.   And something happened.  For the first time in all that time, it clicked!  Finally! I felt excitement creeping in.  The fear was going away because I was accomplishing what I needed to every week.  It took 11 weeks for my brain to lose to my body but it happened.  I had to succumb to the fact that I could actually do it!  I was so excited to see if I could get that number.  In fact, there was NO way I wasn’t going to get it.  For the first time, I couldn’t wait until Friday.  Everything was different.   The energy was better, I released the mental doubt and blocks from my mind.  I had done it all to this point.  I proved myself wrong and now it was time to believe!  With only one week to go to the meet, I would say that this was just in the nick of time!  I allowed myself to be stuck on one lift, 275 and I compared every workout to that one lift instead of trusting the process that I was getting stronger each time which would allow me to surpass that number and hit my goal.  THAT’S WHY YOU’RE ON A PROGRAM!  KATHI!

9 days later, I pulled a 305 deadlift and became an elite deadlifter.  This also qualified me to move on to Worlds in November.  I am back to pre-season training, working on the weak spots and will start back up in August.  This time I am going to try the experiment of the mind.  I am going to trust the work.  Do the work and believe in myself.  I am going to look at my workouts with 100% confidence in my ability.  That doesn’t mean I will have success every time or get cocky at all (always humble), but I am going to believe I will.  I am going to believe I CAN.  I am going to replace the energy I wasted on fear and channel it in to excitement instead.  I really can’t wait to see what that does for me and my gains.  I will keep you posted.  I hope you take this message, my mistake, and run with your abilities like I am going to do.  Power of the mind!  We’ve got this, now let’s train!

See you in great shape,
Your Iron Beauty Coach
Kathi Sottosanti
©


MY SHORTS DON’T FIT. HELLO SUMMER!

Memorial day weekend is here and this morning I had my moment of truth. The bathing suit and shorts moment! Nothing fits! All to small. I couldn’t button my shorts. The competition is in 5 days. Put a skirt on!

I took today off.  I haven’t had a day off since? I actually don’t know when. I have been working like crazy for over two years now.  Keeping up with our growing Iron Beauty business, managing social media pages, growing a coaching department at No Body Denied, coaching countless number of people through their weight loss journey to better health with our nutrition products, public speaking, corporate coaching, it goes on, all while raising 5 kids, two whom are graduating this year so the activities are crazy.

The one thing that I have to work around, that many people can’t understand, is my training regimen. I have been working out my whole adult life. I do not function well without it. In fact, I love being on a structured program. I lift weights to manage my real life stress. It keeps me sane. Helps me escape for a little while and mostly because it just feels good.

There were all different phases of training over the years of course, having kids, 4 of them in 5 years, while working in the city until #3 came along. This often meant the treadmill in the basement, with a baby in a bouncy seat sucking on a pacifier, or the double stroller around town or months of wishing I could but didn’t.

I have been lifting weights forever but for the last two years I shifted focus to powerlifting. I said out loud to my friend/coach, “I don’t want to gain weight”. To which he replied, “Then this sport is not for you.” That made me mad, I thought, yes it is and I shut up. I was not thinking right. I had to experience it to understand, as much as I knew how the body has to adapt, I was still thinking I could stay my weight and just get stronger. Nope. When you put that kind of stress on your body, such as lifting heavy loads, your body has to adapt to that stress by adding muscle. My body had to put on weight. Which it did, about 8 pounds. And yes that’s mostly muscle. I work hard motivating so many all winter to stay on path and so many for weight loss. I am now sitting in my car on the way to the beach in a bathing suit with a skirt on that is no bigger than a bandana on me now, but was all I had while flying through the house trying to get ready to leave. My goals are not typical and I have to remember that.

My legs and glutes are bigger. Ok, so deep breath, pause and reflect. The shorts that fit last year could not lift the weight that I can lift today. My body adapted to my sport. I’m not skinny, but I am stronger at 52 than I was at 22, 32, or 42. I guess you’ll be seeing me in skirts this summer! Note to self: I will embrace my body for what it can accomplish. I will look at the size of the bar I am lifting, not the tag in my shorts! I have been training very hard for a reason. That is where my focus will stay!


THE VOICE OF HUNGER AND THE VOICE OF REASON. HOW TO WIN THE CIVIL WAR!

The Voice of Hunger!
It’s a loud voice that messes with your psyche.  It talks to you and reasons with you, although it’s not the Voice of Reason.  It’s just masquerading as such when you’re hungry!  Feel like you have multiple personalities?  You do!  Don’t you feel different when you’re starving.  You become short with people, less tolerant.  When you’re fueling your body on a regular basis, your mood doesn’t swing like Jekyll and Hyde!  The Voice of Hunger tells you to eat it whatever is in front of you.  Eat it!  You’ll work it off.  Maybe you will.   Or maybe you won’t.  Hunger isn’t Reason, it actually doesn’t care if you work it off, it just wants to eat.  It’s STARVING.  You waited too long and Reason became overpowered by Hunger.  Hunger is one strong dude, but it doesn’t mean that all is lost, Reason still has a fighting chance.  More in a second.

Why is Hunger so powerful?  Because you let it be.  You were irresponsible and waited too long to eat.  You didn’t plan properly.  You didn’t have your food. Yes, it’s your fault!  We’re not living in a third world country where we are actually starving, which is a sin, we live in the land of plenty.  The Voice of Hunger has power because you enabled it to have power. You skipped a meal.  The Voice of Reason is begging you to be prepared, to pack your food for the day, to feed yourself.  When you feel stable you are stable.  Mood is balanced.  Kids are not at risk of being murdered for leaving a dish in the sink (my house) or saying Hey, Mom. DID YOU JUST TALK TO ME?   The Voice of Hunger isn’t a nice voice and doesn’t have an “Inside Voice”.

Ok, so true story.  Last weekend I woke up hungrier than normal.  Typical Saturday is to go out early and get a dozen fresh bagels for the kids.  (although now, two oldest are on meal plans and only eat Ezekiel!).  I had a complete conversation with myself.  Hunger was duking it out with Reason for sure.  Hunger was saying, hmmmm, order a bagel with butter for yourself, it’s ok, you’re benching today and will work it off.  Keep the carbs low later in the day, all will be well.  Then Reason woke up and said, listen up girl, you are in a competition today, do you think that food in the shape of a ZERO, as in nutrients, will keep you fueled for your comp?  Don’t do it.  Reason said make the shake you have every day filled with nutrients.  Well, Reason won.  By the time I got to the bagel store I felt full.  Was happy.  Gave my body what it needed, not what it wanted.  I ended up having a great session.  Thank you Reason.  Listen up.  Do not let Hungry win.  Don’t go without food so long that you enable the battle of the wills.  Eat right and eat smart.  Who will win your Battle of the Voices?  I’m putting my money on Reason.  Don’t disappoint me, duke it out and win!

See You in Great Shape!
Your Iron Beauty Coach,
Kathi Sottosanti

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